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If you start imagining yourself getting nervous or tongue-tied, stop and start again until you imagine it going smoothly.

Now the big caveat to this is: don’t get hung up rehearsing specific dialog—don’t memorize your script, otherwise if things veer off in a different direction you could really be thrown.

That may work for guys who don’t care about personal chemistry. Even if you’re SURE you’re in love before speaking two words to her, give it a chance to percolate by talking to her.

If you ask her out too soon, you may get a no that would have been a yes if you’d just allowed the situation to develop. Don’t bring your baggage from other rejections into the conversation.

Buddhists have a great attitude about attachment to the physical world.

They have a phrase that goes something like “See the glass as already broken.” They don’t overreact when something is destroyed or when a glass breaks because that glass is already broken.

This isn’t a commitment to “go steady,” this is you getting to know each other better a couple hours at a time.

Ok, you know when I said you should avoid saying “date”?

Once you realize that it takes 9 no’s to get to a yes, the no’s don’t sting as much.Some guys understand this but take it too far—into swagger mode—and they come across like arrogant players.That’s where the nuance comes in: you need to strike a balance between acting like you KNOW she’s going to say yes, and not acting like a total douche.At least if you ask a woman to dinner, she gets that it’s a date.But if you ask if she wants to “hang and play some X-Box,” who knows what she’ll think?

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