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Enter Damona Hoffman, dating coach and host of the Dates & Mates podcast, who promises rapid results if I just follow a few tough-love rules....

Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer.

I should make my messages personal, advises Hoffman: “Comment on something in his profile and follow with a question.” Dutifully, I tell one bespectacled prospect, “I like melty ice cream, too. ” I have some interesting chats, but nothing leads anywhere. He’s into photography and makes his own pasta—and he is an Adonis.

After a lengthy back-and-forth with a cute guy who asks why I’m still single (beats me! We have a short phone call, as Hoffman recommends, to set something up. That’s online dating: You meet the freakazoids and think, Ghosting happens to the best of us, says therapist and dating coach Melanie Hersch.

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For me, online dating is like exercise: At the end of the day, it’s easier to watch TV.Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart.Do a Google image search with his photo to see if it links to a Facebook or Instagram account.” This can also protect you from scam artists—be wary if the photos seem too perfect or his language is considerably more fluent in his profile than in his messages. I’m spiritual and go to church, but “faith” sounds heavy.You don’t have to stand in a bar and wait for the right one to come along,” says Fisher.“And we’ve found that people looking for a sweetheart on the internet are more likely to have full-time employment and higher education, and to be seeking a long-term partner.

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