Importance of dating after marriage

D., chair of Clark University’s psychology department.

“One of the things that happens in long-term marriages is that the demands of everyday life steal our attention away from our partners — and paying attention to the other is crucial for happy relationships,” Córdova says.

All marriages move through ups and downs; however, dating can play a vital part in how long they stay on either side of the spectrum.

That person has lived with you through ups and downs, through joy and sorrow, and for many of you, through kids and diapers. Dating your husband or wife will be very different from dating a husband or wife. When you were single, dating was a time to get away alone, to talk, laugh and have fun together.Do you remember when you first met the person who would become your husband or wife? Many of us look back with fondness on those carefree dating days, except they weren’t carefree at the time!We worried about everything – from where the date would be and how to dress, to how to impress the other person.It’s what we call having a "date with a purpose." Intentionally give your time together a purpose beyond just sharing an event. Put him or her in the spotlight and nurture your marriage relationship. If you walk, go somewhere you won’t run into people you know.Here are a couple of date ideas to plan for your mate to help you begin dating with a purpose: Getting cozy with coffee. Choose a place where you’re not likely to run into anyone you know. You can go for dinner, a couple of big cups of specialty coffee or a dessert. Don’t think about calories or how much that big cup of cappuccino is costing – just do it! If you drive, preferably head out to a rural road where you won’t deal with traffic.

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