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Men who have had kids also carry a lot of emotional baggage from the relationship they had with their child's mother and it is very difficult to get passed it.Men find it harder to trust women once women dog them and it always in my experience reflects in their future relationships.Another woman made an excellent point which caused at least a couple of you to sniff a bit, when LEVOW said (quite wrongly, in my opinion) the bit about the "poor children".It's NOT the fault of the kids; but it's not the fault OR the responsibility of the newcomer, either. When I'm in a position to I'll go out of my way to help them; I've devoted a significant amount of time and money to abandoned or fostered children in hospitals and homes -- BUT that doesn't make them MY responsibility.The woman's example of feeling for the starving children in some Third World country NOT being a reason to marry their fathers was SPOT ON.
We're procreating like rats here, spitting out eleventeen babies every half second or so, the majority of them from unwed unions adhering to the baby daddy/baby momma mentality. Some kids are outta control, but tell their parents that and they will chop your head off.While some may see that as being harsh, judgmental or even selfish (for whatever reason they list) I see it as being up-front and open.You KNOW what you will and will not accept with regard to dating, at least where this issue is concerned, so why waste your time OR his time?That being said, I DO have to look back and just absolutely LAUGH at the number of times over the years -- and I do mean a HUGE number -- when similar discussions have come up and single guys have stated they wouldn't date women with children, for the very reasons listed here, and single women with NO children have leaped to the defense of the single moms, calling the men selfish for their inconsideration since after all, these single moms were still people, and apparently to be revered for the trials and tribulations of single motherhood.If it was just single moms defending these gals it would be one thing; but as often as not it's been women I KNEW were single and with no kids. To be honest, I think the disparity stems from the fact that at least these single women to whom I'm referring could SEE themselves ending up in a position like that, for whatever reason.